Gomu Gomu no Hosting?
by megami tsuki195
Summary: Crossover: Ouran HS Host Club and One Piece. Well Nekozawa was trying to summon devils from another dimension… I don’t think a Devil Fruit eating Rubber Man and his friends is what he had in mind. Rated for mild language. SanjiNami eventual TamakiHauri
1. Chapter 1

I'm taking a break from the fic I'm currently working on.-echemshamlessplug- 'Life's Little Quarks' 3rd story of my One Piece Sanji Nami Romance Epic!...

One: because I've been work on that fic since June, and need a bit of a change.  
And two: ever since I started watching Host Club this story has been burning in my head. X3

I usually write One Piece fanficton and this is my first attempt at doing something with Host Club… tho I guess this could also count as One Piece Fanfiction too…tho it's set in Ouran Universe…

**Gomu Gomu no….Hosting?**

Nekozawa, president of Ouran High School's Black Magic Club, had been _trying_ to summon demons from another dimension. Standing back and looking at the beings he had actually managed to summon using his new book _Demons and How to Summon Them_, he wondered if he should go back to that old hag at the _Everything you need to dabble in the dark arts Emporium_ and demand his money back.

"You don't really _look_ much like evil demons from the dark abyss." Said Nekozawa, tilting his to one side. "Well I guess you." He said leaning over to look at the small cloven foot creature with horns, attempting to hide itself, unsuccessfully, behind one of the other beings he had summoned. "You could be considered some kind of devil…" Nekozawa crouched down to get a closer look at the 'devil' who was short fuzzy with horns sticking though a big pink top hat he was wearing. "But your not scary nor bone chilling and have no demonic aura in the least. What kind of poor excuse for a devil are you anyway?"

"I'm not a devil I'm a reindeer dumb ass!" the creature shouts

"Ah! So you can speak the human tongue…interesting." Nekozawa continuing to examine his summons not really listening. "Hmm, I do sense an evil demonic presence among this group… do any of you happen to be carrying a cursed item?"

Nekozawa suddenly finds him with the blade of a sword millimeters under his chin. The Black Magic Club President follows the blade with his eyes, careful not to move his head or else risk losing it, to look up at its owner looming darkly over him.

"Just who the hell are you?" The looming green haired figure asks. He was certainly giving off a demonic aura now. "And for that matter, where the hell are we?"

"Ah! A magnificently cursed sword." Nekozawa says excitedly examining the blade ignoring the inquiries "How delightful."

Nekozawa suddenly finds himself with his legs being swept out from under him and a heavy foot coming down on his chest. "You have five seconds to answer the questions before I kick your head in freak." Says the intimidating blond haired owner of the foot crushing Nekozawa's rib cage. "I was in the middle of serving these two lovely ladies a grand meal I made with love and care. Isn't that right?" The blond turns his head to look over at the ladies he was talking about but they weren't paying any attention.

One Orange haired girl was busy looking at a silver chalice ornate with blood red stones "Hmm this looks really valuable, wonder how much I could fence it for…" She says

"How dare you even dream of pawning away the priceless Nekozawa family heirlooms of the occult?" Nekozawa up and scolding the girl being that the blond was now sulking in the corner, distraught from being ignored when he had been trying to act all cool and badass. Nekozawa couldn't put his finger on it, but the blond sort of reminded him of someone else he knew…

"My, what an interesting collection of books they have here…" Says the other lady, a tall purple haired woman, flipping though the pages of one of Nekozawa's Black Magic books.

"Ah! Yes. Aren't they now?" Nekozawa having a sudden change of attitude finding someone who took an interest in his dark arts fascination.

"These books seem very old." smiles the woman.

"Why yes. They've been passed down within my family for generations." Smiles Nekozawa back.

"Wow! Look at this crazy thing!" Says a straw hated boy, holding up a demonic cat statue scaring the bejezus out of the small devil 'reindeer' creature and a strange long nose boy.

"Ack!" Cries Nekozawa "How dare you lay your hands on one of my Sacred Cat Idols!" He stomps over to take his Sacred Idol from the boy. Yet when he goes to grab the statue out the boy's hands, the hands come with it. Nekozawa pulls harder and sees that the boy's arms were stretching. Nekozawa backs up more and the arms continue to stretch.

Nekozawa looks up at the boy who smiles a wide toothy grin at him. The boy releases the statue and Nekozawa watches stunned as the boys arms snap back into place.

So stunned in fact he drops his precious sacred statue. "Ah!" Nekozawa exclaims as the idol falls towards the ground.

He expects to see it shatter into a million pieces, but it's caught at the last minute.

"Careful now." Says the Purple haired woman. "It would be a shame to loose something so old and valuable.

Nekozawa sighs in relief as he goes to take his precious idol from the woman's hands "Thank you so very mu-" Nekozawa stops short of taking the statue when he notices the hands giving him his statue are not attached to the woman but actually coming out of the floor and that the woman was still on the other side of the room.

"Ah!" exclaims Nekozawa. As he backs away and presses himself against the wall holding out his precious Bereznoff for protection the way a person holds a cross to ward of a vampire. Nekozawa was usually the one scaring the bujeezes out of others with his creepiness; he wasn't use to it being turned around on him. This was definitely a first for him.

He looks back over the strange group he had summoned. Perhaps they were demons from a dark abyss after all. "J-just what are you all anyway." Asks Nekozawa

The straw hat kid steps forward. "I'm Luffy!" he says with a big smile "I'm a rubber man!"

"R-rubber man?" Nekozawa asks puzzled

"I stretch!" He says, and pulls on his cheeks to have them stretch out like rubber. "Shee?" Luffy says with his cheeks all stretched out.

Luffy lets go of his stretched out face and everything snaps back into place. "I ate the Gomu Gomu Devil Fruit, so now I'm a rubber man!" Luffy then points at the small devil/ reindeer creature "This is Chopper. He's a blue nose reindeer who ate the Hito Hito Devil Fruit and so he can talk like a human and stuff." Luffy then points to the Purple haired woman "This is Nico Robin. She ate the Hana Hana Devil Fruit so she can make body parts grow out of anything. This is Zoro." Luffy now pointing at the green haired owner of the cursed sword "Um… He didn't eat any Devil Fruit, neither did the rest… but he's a swords man. This Nami." Pointing at the Orange haired girl who was now examining the gold and ruby crested amulet displayed on a table. "She's a navigator, map maker and thief." Luffy points at the long nose boy "And this is…"

The long nose boy cuts off Luffy "Ha Ha! No need to introduce me Luffy!" The boy says with and air of importance and superiority "Surely he's heard of the Great and Fearless Warrior Captain Ussop! No? Well then I shall tell you the heroic tales of my greatness. Let's see… perhaps Captain Ussop's Tale of Bravery #536…"

Suddenly the heavy heel of the blond comes down on Ussops head "Oh Shut up! No one wants to hear your stupid tall tales right now."

"Ah this is Sanji." Says Luffy "He's our cook. Ah! That reminds me. I'm hungry. Sanji food!" The straw hat boy demands.

Sanji sighs "Figures you'd be hungry at a time like this. We don't even know where we are, let alone if there's a kitchen or anything. How'd we get here anyway? One minute we're sailing on the Grand Line and the next minute we're here…"

"What's with this place anyway?" Says Zoro "It's all dark and everything…"

The group of strange people start talking amongst themselves trying to figure out their situation.

"Rubber man? Devil Fruit? What have I gotten myself into this time?" Nekozawa thinks to himself

* * *

What indeed?

Tell me what you think… no point in continuing if no one likes it…


	2. Chapter 2

Nekozawa thought over his situation "Well they aren't exactly demons, but they do seem to be other worldly beings of some kind. And this "Devil Fruit" sounds quite interesting indeed. Not what I bargained for at all, but I guess it'll have to do."

Nekozawa turns back to the group of characters had called forth from the depths of…where ever they were from… he'd also have to asked them about this "Grand Line" Place as well. However once he looked, they were not in the place they had been.

"Hey!" Says Nami the orange haired girl "I found the exit."

"Ah! Wait!" Cries Nekozawa

But before he could stop her Nami throws open the doors and the room is suddenly bathed with light.

"Aaaah! The Light!" Cries Nekozawa and flees to find another dark sanctuary.

"Yay! We're free!" Says Luffy, not paying any attention to Nekozawa distressed. "Now we can find food!"

"First we have to find out where we are." Argues Nami

"No! I'm the Captain and I say we find food. We have plenty of time for other stuff later."

The others sigh. You couldn't argue with Luffy once he pulled rank like that.

"Chopper! Use your nose and find us some food." The Straw Hat Captain demands

"Right!" Says Chopper and transforms into his walking point form and starts sniffing around for something tasty.

Thus Mugiwara band emerge from Nekozawa's dark sanctuary, which turned out just to be a normal room inside what they now found was in a huge building.

"What is this place?" Nami wonders

"Looks like some kind of castle." Says Sanji

"The Architecture is exquisite." Comments Robin

"Suge--! They're sure to have a kitchen in this place." Says Luffy "Hey Chopper, pick up anything?"

"Ya." Says Chopper. "I smell something really sweet and tasty this way."

"Yahoo! Sweet and tasty sweet and tasty." Luffy sings

Chopper leads the group to the top floor of one of the wings of the vast estate, down a long hallway and stops in front of a huge set of doors. "The smell is come from here." Chopper says, reverting back to his regular status.

"Music room?" Says Zoro. "Why would there be food in a music room?"

"Who cares?" Says Luffy

As Luffy opens the doors he and the whole group behind him are suddenly bombarded with flying rose petals.

Once the petals clear the misplaced band of pirates were shocked and absolutely flabbergasted at the new situation they had stumbled upon.

A group of extremely handsome guys stood dressed in togas and the interior of the room had changed from what had been outside to tall ornate columns, pillars and fountains. "Irasshyaimase." The handsome guys say in unison.

"Gaaah!" Cries Ussop "We've been sucked into another strange world!"

"Ah! Fret not my long nose friend." Says the blond front and center of the group. "For though this _is_ like a new wonderful world we create for the sake of our lovely patrons, there is no need to fear, for it is a world of love and beauty."

The misplaced and perplexed pirate band tilt their heads to one side in confusion. "Hu?" they all say.

The blond then throws his arms open "Welcome strange new comers! Welcome to Ouran's Illustrious Host Club, where ones deepest romantic fantasies come true! Today, we welcome you to Ancient Greece, where free love and beauty flow freely."

"Ah! I see!" Says Luffy "It's a mysterious place."

"Ah, yes, yes." Says the blond now suddenly next to Luffy "You could say this is a mysterious place indeed."

But the crew sighs knowing that when Luffy said something was "mysterious" it ment that he had no clue what was going on.

"Can someone please just tell us where the hell we are and what's going on around here?" Asks Nami exasperated


	3. Chapter 3

"Ah I see, so that's the situation." Says the tall glasses wearing boy who said his name was Kyoya. "It seems Nekozawa Sempai has gotten in over his head with this one."

Nami had been explaining to him about being in their world one moment then suddenly getting swept away and finding themselves in the dark lair of Nekozawa.

The handsome young men had since changed out of their togas, which they explained were only costumes, and the room set back to match the interior of the rest of the strange castle like structure which they were told was some kind of school…

"Kyoya Sempai." Says the short dark haired boy who was introduced as Haruhi. "You really believe her story? I mean, it really doesn't seem impossible."

"Well." Says Kyoya "I wouldn't put it past Nekozawa Sempai tring something like this. They're obviously not from around here, and how else would you explain their talking reindeer companion." Gesturing towards Chopper who was now running franticly trying to escape a set of twins, Hikaru and Kaoru as they were introduced as but who knew who was who?

"Cool! A talking deer!" Says one

"Let's dissect him in the name of science!" says the other

"Waaah!" cried Chopper "I don't wanna be dissected in the name of science."

Nami sighs. She was not too thrilled at all that she seemed to have traded one group of weirdoes for another. I mean really? Who the hell dresses in strange getups to entertain girls? And what was up with that Neko-whats-it guy? She so did not need this right now. However, Nami was relieved to have found at least two normal levelheaded people to talk to in this crazy mixed up place.

"How do we keep getting into these situations?" Sighs Nami

"Ah don't worry. Things will work out. Nekozawa Sempai brought you here so I'm sure he can send you back." Haruhi smiles refreshingly offering Nami some tea.

Haruhi had switched into host mode, not knowing what else to do in this strange situation. Plus if Kyoya Sempai was calm, there was no need to be worried.

"Here, have some tea. It should relax you."

"Why thank you." Nami smiles accepting the tea. "Ah, this is certainly refreshing. I guess it would be ok for me to relax just a little." Nami thought, succumbing to the boy's natural hosting skills. Nami goes to sip the warm pleasantly fragrant beverage.

As she sips she looks over her cup at the handsome boy that had served her the tea.

"He is cute." Nami thinks "He's one of those pretty boys that look feminine and delicate, not exactly my type but still... Plus he's really nice and polite and level headed…so refreshing after dealing with the men she usualy had to put up with..." Something shocking suddenly occurs to Nami. "How come I'm being so susceptible to his charm? No guy has ever made me feel this at ease…except one… and that was only after a very long and bumpy roller coaster ride of emotional discord, but that was another story… there was something else off too."

Haruhi senses the sudden change in Nami. "Something wrong?"

Nami lowers her tea cup and stares at Haruhi. "You're a very good looking boy…" Says Nami

"Um thank you." Haruhi laughs modestly

"And you're very skilled at wooing girls." Nami says narrowing her eye suspiciously

"Ah, am I?" Asks Haruhi giving off nervous laughter under Nami's glare.

"Yes you are...we're sitting here talking and making plesent conversation, and yet…" Nami's eyes look over to Sanji who was on the other side of the room examining the cakes and pastries that were being displayed. Nami was being pleasantly entertained by a handsome young man, yet Sanji wasn't interfering. Something was very wrong with this picture.

Nami sets down her tea cup. "Um, Sanji- kun…"

As soon as she had finished uttering his name Sanji was at Nami's side "Yes Nami-san my lovely sun goddess?" The blond chef beamed "You called? Perhaps you would like some of this cake." He said pulling a piece of cake from somewhere "Even though it's not made by me with love from my heart it's not bad and I offer it with love and affection."

"Oh boy." Haruhi thinks "She has one too." Glancing over at their very own spouter of lavish complements.

"Ah, why thank you Sanji-kun." Nami smiles "It'll go great with Haruhi-kun's tea."

Sanji's personality suddenly changed from happy and cheerful to dark and antagonistic "Who?" He says darkly

Haruhi suddenly felt a twinge of alarm. The boy's new demeanor had the air of Honey Sempia's darker side. Haruhi glances over at the sweet looking bunny toteing senior currently enjoying cakes with the peculiar straw hat kid Luffy.

"These cakes are really yummy!" Says Luffy

"Aren't they?" giggles Honey Sempai

Haurhi new how quickly that sweetness could change.

"Haruhi-kun" Nami said pleasantly gesturing at Haurhi who was now trying to shrink into the sofa "We've been having tea and making nice conversation."

Sanji looks over at Haruhi who fidgets under his glare. But then the glare disappears and turns into a normal look.

Sanji tilts his head to one side. "Haruhi…kun?"

"Yes." Says Nami "This handsome boy who's been entertaining me."

"Handsome…boy…" Says Sanji

"You don't feel any hostility towards him?" Asks Nami

"Strangely no..." Says Sanji

"None what's so ever?"

"None what's so ever..." Sanji said looking preplexed. Here was this relitvily good looking boy wooing his dear sweet Nami-swan, and yet, he felt no ill feeling towards him...

But Nami seemed to figuer it out. There was only one reason Sanji would feel no hostility what's so ever towrds a guy...  
"Ah!" Nami sighs in relief. "So that's why I feel so comfortable around you." Smiles Nami at Haruhi "You're a girl! And here I was afraid I was getting soft."

The rest of the members of the host club suddenly freeze and turn their eyes on Nami.

The blond boy that had first greeted them, Tamaki he had called himself, comes over. "Hahaha! What are you talking about my dear lost and wandering maiden?" Tamaki attempting to smooth things over with his charm "Sure our natural rooky here certainly is pretty and handsome enough to be _mistaken_ as a girl, as he his _so_ many times, but I _assure_ you my lovely lady he's not."

"Nope. Definitely a girl." Nami says nodding mater of factly. "One, Ussop lies better that you, and he's a terrible liar."

"Oi!" Protest Ussop

"Two." Nami ignoring Ussop's protests. "If she _was_ really a guy Sanji wouldn't stand by calmly while I was being entertained him and Sanji would _definitely_ being feeling hostility towards him…"

The other members of the lost and wandering pirate band all nod in agreement. "Yes he certainly would." They say

"Like the way he's feeling now towards you." Nami points out to Tamaki who was now feeling extremely uncomfortable under the dark and antagonistic glare of Sanji's that was now being directed at him.

"Kind of like a sixth sense hu?" comments Haurhi casually, not feeling any anxiety now that the aggressive and hostile vibes were no longer being directed at her.

"Ya, something like that." Nods Nami picking back up her tea cup.

"Tea cookie?" Offers Haruhi

"Yes thank you."

"Squee!" Sanji suddenly finds himself being glomped by an extremely overzealous young girl with a big pink bow in her hair.

"Gah!" Cries Sanji "I'm being hugged by a cute girl…and yet, I feel strangely uncomfortable."

"Ya. Renge's Flaming Otakuness will do that to you." Says the twins indifferently as they plot the construction of a "trap" to catch the elusive Chopper.

"Ah! Antagonistic and hostel feeling towards a rival." Says Renge "And could this be? Am I sensing a troubled past and underlying angst?"

"Oh ya." Says Nami "Sanji's full of pent up angst. Troubled past? Let him tell you all about the time he got stranded on a deserted island and almost starved to death once."

"Squee! Finally! A character with some _depth_! My prayers have finally been answered. Oh the possibilities of drama are endless."

"Endless." Nami scoffs "You got that right. Here you go." Nami pulls out every volume of _"One Piece"_ written so far and hands it to Renge. "There's lots more coming. Also if you like that, there're these too." Nami then pulls out stacks of One Piece ZxS LxS LxZxL Doujinshi "Knock yourself out."

Renge snatches up the volumes with a fan-girlish squeal of delight and zips off to the corner to read them with her band of moe followers who popped out of no where.

"Way to go! Good Job!" Smiles the Mischievous Twins giving Nami thumbs up "That'll keep her occupied and out of our hair for awhile."

"Certainly good thinking." Agrees Haurhi who really wasn't the the mood for Renge weirding things up even more than they allready were.

"Meh." Nami shrugs "I'm use to dealing with those kinds of people." She says glancing at Ussop who was now engaged with the devious twins in their trap building plot, Luffy who had turned casually eating cake into a 'who can shove the most cake into their mouths the fastest' contest with the blond bunny toteing boy, Zoro who was stairing at the tall silent stoic boy, they called Mori who was looking curiously at Zoro's three swords and Sanji who was glaring with rising tension at Tamaki who was busy being shocked over the fact more people had discovered Haruhi's secret some how and wondered why he was the only one fretting. Surely this was a very serious mater…

Nami sighs and looks over at Robin who had got Kyoya to talk about the extensive records he always kept "Robin's the only one I can count on." Says Nami

Haruhi sighs sympathetically "I know how that goes."

"So why are you here dressed up like a boy anyway?" Nami asks Haruhi

Haruhi sighs remembering the conditions that led to her life of slavery "I broke a really expensive vase that belonged to the club so now I have to work for them to pay it off."

"Oh! You poor thing!" Sympathizes Nami "I had to work under a vicious oppressor to pay off a high debt too."

"Vicious oppressor hu?" Haruhi glances casually at the clubs cunning and calculating Shadow King.

"Something interesting Hauri?" Asks Kyoya casually, glasses glowing

"Ah! No! Nothing at all Kyoya Sempai." Harihi laughs nervously

"Uh hu." Nami says knowingly understanding Haruhi's situation and avoids Kyoya's look by sipping her tea.


	4. Chapter 4

Small update.  
In my past fics I had the habit of trying to put too much into one chapter and would end up getting stuck...  
So with this fic I'm trying to go about it by updating with shorter chapters this time...  
lets see how it goes.

* * *

After sicking the twins on him with their "Duel Hitachiin Beam", which insidently was two high powered flashlights, Nekozawa agreed to do everything in his power to send the adrift and astray individuals back from whence they came.

"It'll take some time." He said "Sending back demons is always more complex than summoning them. I need to get all new components and time to prepare…"

Nekozawa gloomily shuffles off leaving everyone wondering why he had been trying to summon demons in the first place, and the more disturbing question; what would he have done with the demons if he had successfully summoned them?

In the mean time The Mugiwara Pirates had to make the best of their situation.

Kyoya fabricated and organized an explanation and situation to justify the strange group's presence.

They were a group of students visiting from a school overseas sponsored by the Ohtori Group. They were said to be from some obscure little town no one ever heard of in a European country everyone kept missing the name of. Robin and Chopper, in his "human" transformation, were the chaperoning teachers. The twins happily provided cute and trendy uniforms for the group to wear.

The next day Ouran High School was all astir with news of visitors from another school.

Robin and Chopper got to relax in the teacher's room chatting and having tea while the rest were set up in Tamaki and Kyoya's class.

"Um…" Started Nami as she quickly thought up some kind introduction for themselves as the group stood execution style in front of the class "We're students from Going Merry Academy and… um…well what can I say about Going Merry Academy?"

"Ooh!" A girl in the front row raised her hand excitingly

"Um yes?" Nami smiles nervously acknowledging the girl.

"What kind of things do you study at Going Merry Academy?" the girl asks

"Oh! Um well, that's a very good question…"Nami smiles thinking. Making up stories on the spot was harder than she thought. She turned to their resident teller of tall tales. "Ussop…tell them about the types of classes we study at Going Merry Academy…"

Ussop smiles and takes up his proud boasting stature. This was his element. "Well! There are many different things one can study at the prestigious and renowned Going Merry Academy. It's not really what you would call a traditional school… it's more of a trade school really. Like, um for example…. We have a really good culinary arts course and Sanji here is studying to become a great chef."

There was a collective 'ooh' from the class.

"In fact!" Ussop continues "In the all region cooking competition Sanji won the title "Best in East Blue, um…Blumington."

"Wow." One girl said "I wanna try food made by the best chef in East Blumington"

"Me too." Giggled another girl

"And me." smiles another

Sanji was suddenly by the group of girls taking one of their hands "Ah! Such flattery and complements from such lovely ladies is something I hardly deserve. It would be a great honor and my extreme pleasure for my humble cooking, made with love from my heart, be sampled by a group of charming and exquisite young beauties like yourselves."

The girls suddenly turn bright red and give out collective girlish squeals of delight.

"Who does he think he is?" Tamaki whispering to Kyoya "Spouting out such absurdly extravagant complements is utterly ridiculous." Tamaki was definitely getting heated over the coming of a new potential rival.

"Now that's the pot calling the kettle black." Mutters Kyoya.

"Hm?" Tamaki asks

"Nothing." Smiles Kyoya. "But really" Kyoya thinks to himself "We really don't need _another _Tamaki. One's more than enough."

"Sanji-kun." Nami says smiling with her teeth clenched "Come back over here please."

"Hai! Nami san!" Sanji smiles and obediently zips back up to the front of the class with the others.

"Hmm." Kyoya murmurs "At least this one has an owner that can control him. If only we had a way to put a leash on Tamaki…"

"Hm?" Asks Tamaki

"Nothing." Smiles Kyoya as he goes back to listing to the long nose boy skillfully weave a web of lies taking notes of some things so he too could help keep up the façade.

"…then Nami here is studying Cartography and Navigation" Ussop continues "And I am in the prestigious field of science and invention. I'm such a genius, that the school has given me my own workshop and lab with materials to work with. Me and 8000 members of our countries scientific community work together and exchange ideas from all over, all for the advancement of our society."

"Not to mention your storytelling hobby." Comments Zoro and the others snicker.

"Heh heh." Ussop laughs uneasily "Yes Zoro that's right, on the weekends I go to the local orphanage and read stories to the children."

"Ne ne!" Says another student "Do you have clubs at Going Merry Academy?"

"But of course! We have lots of great clubs." Says Ussop "Luffy is the Head of the…um…Food Appreciation Club. They sample the food made by Sanji and others in the culinary class… um ya."

"Haha! I wanna join that club." Says one student

"Us too." giggles the group of girls that talked about wanting to tastes Sanji's food before. They all smile and wave at Sanji.

Sanji waves back with his goofy grin on his face.

"And Zoro here is captain of the um well I don't know what they call it in this country..."

"I believe here they call it Kendo." Says Zoro dryly

"Ah! Yes, yes that's right!" Nods Ussop "Zoro's captain of the Kendo Club and practices the rare and difficult Three Sword Technique."

"Three Swords! Wow! I wanna see that." Says one of the male students

"Ya that would be cool!" Says another

"We should have a match set up with him against Mori Sempai."

"Ya!" There was a lot of excitement in the class about that.

As soon as their introduction was over class members gathered around to talk more with the strangers from a strange land. The group was overwhelmed with hundreds of questions all at once.

"I'm sure there will be time for questions later." Says Kyoya, to the rescue "But right now it's been scheduled that our guests enjoy a tour of our lovely campus."

Kyoya, followed by Tamaki, ushers the group away from the mob and out of the class.  
They were very glad to be able to breathe again.

"Wha! I'd rather be interrogated by the Navy than go through something like that again." Sighs Nami

"I'm Hungry" says Luffy "When's Lunch"

Nami sighs "Is there ever a time when you're _not_ hungry?"

"Hmmm." Luffy thinking "Nope! I don't think so."

"I was a rhetorical question dumb ass." Says Sanji "We all know you're a human bottomless pit."

"Rectal Question?" asks Luffy

"Rhetorical." Says Zoro "It's a question you're not really supposed to answer."

"Ah! I see." Says Luffy

"Really?" Asks Nami

"It's a mysterious question." Grins Luffy

The rest sign and hang their head. "I thought so." They say

Kyoya laughs "You're quite the interesting group of characters aren't you?"

"Interesting is one way of putting it." Sighs Nami "Though I wouldn't be throwing stones… what about you and your little band of merry womanizers?"

"Hahaha!" laughs Kyoya "Credit for that goes to this genius right here." Gesturing to Tamaki.

"Yes, yes that's right. It was my genius that came up with such a marvelous idea." Smiles Tamaki, patting himself on the back. "And it was my charisma and charm that brought such interesting and unique characters to our illustrious club. Isn't that true Kyoya?" But when Tamaki turns to look back at Kyoya the group they weren't paying attention at all.

"Unfortunately lunch isn't for another hour." Says Kyoya "In the mean time how about we show you around? We should bring Miss Robin and your deer friend as well. This way."

"Haaai --." Says the group following Kyoya

"Come on Tamaki." Kyoya calls back "Be a good host and stop sulking in your sad corner of dejection."

* * *

Ah poor Tamaki get's no respect XD 

That's ok Tamaki. I love you anyway X3. I have a soft spot for loveable flamboyant droks with big caring hearts. Maybe that's why I also love Sanji kun so much. They just try so hard to win the heart of the one they love and always fall short. I feel for them. Sanji and Tamaki are very much a like don't you think?

Tell me what you think so far.


	5. Chapter 5

I promise an actual plot will, or at least should, develop soon -- forgive me for my dribles. This is the first time I've kind of made up the story as I go and gone with the flow of things as apose to having it all worked out in my head before hand... I hope this hasn't been too boring for you and pointless for you...

* * *

Kyoya and Tamaki lead the group in a tour around Ouran's vast campus. 

"The prestigious Ouran Intuition includes Grade School through High School…" Explains Kyoya switching to tour guide mode.

"Grade School? High School?" asks Ussop

"What? You don't have schools in your world?" asks Tamaki

"We have schools of some kind." Says Robin But they're small and you just go there to learn reading and writing and other basic studies, but usually at a certain age one goes off to learn a trade." She explains "There are scholars that study on their own but that's up to the individual."

"Ah I see." Says Kyoya "That's the way things were for our civilization in the past. But since the 19th century began this way of learning has been adapted. People go to school for 12 to 16 years or longer depending on what kind of work they wish to do and then enter the working world."

"Seems like a waist of time to me." Says Sanji "You waist a lot of time studying theories in a book when you could be learning skills first hand."

"And it's boring." Says Luffy "Staying inside on a nice day like this when you could be adventuring!"

Kyoya Laughs "Yes there are those that share your views."

"This seems really big and fancy for just being a school." Comments Nami.

"Well this is a special private Institution for our societies most affluent and elite members. Most schools are smaller and much simpler." Explains Kyoya

Nami pauses to think over what Kyoya said "So…this is a school for rich kids?"

"Basicaly." Nods Kyoya "All the students that attend Ouran come from wealthy and other wise prestigious or influential families. Well with the exception of Haruhi. She's of common background and has no wealth to speak of, but she's here on an academic scholarship."

Nami had stopped paying attention after 'basicaly' "A place packed full of rich kids…interesting."

"By the way Miss Nami…" Says Kyoya "Did I mention my family is one of the most influential in this country, having quite an extensive social and economical empire? We even have our very own elite and expertly trained force of private police." Kyoya flashes Nami his callous cunning smile

Nami laughs uneasily "Heh, heh, 's that so…? Impressive."

"In other words." Nami thinks to herself "I'll be in it deep if I think about stealing anything while I'm here. I have a feeling I don't want to have this guy as an enemy."

"So…Tell us about this 'Host Club' you guys have." Says Nami changing the subject "It seems interesting, however bizarre it is…"

"Hu oh." Sighs Kyoya "Now you've done it."

Tamaki lights right up "Ah yes our illustrious Club is a very unique and exceptional institution in our prominent and exalted Ouran High School…

The wealthy and well off are burdened with a surplus of free time, so I had the _Brilliant_ idea of gathering a group of handsome students with an abundance of free time to come together and entertain Ouran's lovely female populace which are also laden with excessive free time. And not just any handsome young men would do. I sought talented and unique individuals with the right balance of character so that the needs of our charming ladies would be met. And why, you may ask, is there such a need for such a thing? Well I ask you, why display art work at a museum? …"

Kyoya sighs "And there he goes."

"I'm sorry I asked" says Nami

Tamaki, not paying any attention to the others unenthusiastic comments gets going on his 'need for beauty' spiel and sinks into the relms of his own universe with his dramatic dance-like gesturing and posing.

"Is this guy for real?" Asks Zoro "I mean, he's like this dumb ass love-cook. They could be brothers. I didn't think it was possible to find anyone just as obnoxious."

"Grrr! What part of me is anything like that stupid ass!" Sanji staring daggers at Zoro thrusting a finger at Tamaki off in his own world.

"The part that makes you so damn troublesome." Says Zoro (1)

"They are kind of similar." Nami comments casually with no malice intent.

"Ah, Nami swan... _Etue Brute_." Sanji sulking in the corner shadowed by a cloud of depression.

"Ah jeez." Sighs Nami "Sanji-kun you're far too sensitive…" she says as she goes over to sooth her sweetie's bruised ego.

Kyoya can't help but to chuckle to himself. "It is interesting how people can find similar individuals in spite of a difference in setting and culture."

"Very true. Mr. Vice President." Smiles Robin "Your Club president also seems similar to someone else we know." She smiles and looks over at Luffy, the only one besides Chopper paying any attention to Tamaki.

Kyoya looks over at the peculiar straw hat boy whom the others referred to as Captain. "Hmm." Kyoya says thoughtfully "there does seem to be a popular theme of groups of individuals, who normally wouldn't interact, coming together under the leadership of a silly, illogical and other wise ridiculous character."

"Yes, exactly my though." Smiles Robin "I find that it is because of these characters, others can bring fourth their own unique individuality and talents and realize their purposes."

"I hadn't really thought of it that way." Says Kyoya.

If not for Tamaki and the Host Club the twins would still be locked away in their seclusion, becoming more twisted and at the same time more miserable. Hunny Sempai would be growing more and more dejected pretending he was someone he wasn't. And where would he be? Kyoya wondered to himself. What would his life be like without Tamaki around?

"Ah! I see." Says Luffy "'Twin-cest' is a mysterious kind of love."

"Yes, yes exactly!" Beams Tamaki patting the grining Luffy on the shoulder "Finally someone who understands."

"What would life be like without Tamaki?" Thinks Kyoya "Much more stress-free" He concludes

* * *

Ah, Kyoya-kun, you know you'd miss Tamaki if he wasn't around. He makes your life interesting and purposeful 

(1) One of my absolute Fave quotes of all time from Cowboy Bebop X3  
Like Spike and Andy, Sanji and Tamaki are so simlar ther're bound to have a rivalry, and in that sence, Tamak and Luffy are both so simple minded they'er bound to be best buddies

Tamaki is very silimar to Luffy too I think... I've come up with the equation Luffy + Sanji -Tamaki

I still need to think of ways the other Mugiwara Pirate can interact with the Host Club... especialy Zoro and Mori.

Zoro and Mori have very simalar personalaities, but in the Host Club Univers Zoro lacks intrest...He'd make a lousy host, since he lacks a "Lovly Item" XD OMG Best ep of Host Club EVER. I can't beleve Tamaki sicked the Twins of all people on Kasanoda...poor guy...XD  
sorry Side tracked

I can only picture Zoro sleeping... what _does _Mori do anyway?

There is the idea of Zoro and Mori sparing... but I know jack about Kendo and writing action...-.- doushiyou?


	6. Chapter 6

So much for short chapters -.- I'm just the same as ever.

Sorry for how long this took. It's really hard for me to write conflict. I knew I wanted Sanji and Tamki to have some kind of argument, but I wasn't sure how to go about it… Sorry in advance if this chapter ends up sucking.

* * *

"And this is the cafeteria." Says Kyoya concluding the tour of Ouran's extensive campus 

The crew passes out worn and weary from the long trek "Wha! This place is bigger than Alabasta Palace." Comments Nami

"I'm hungry." Says Luffy. "Is it lunch time yet?"

"It is in deed." Smiles Kyoya

"Yahoo! Food! Food!" Luffy chants

The group heads into the cafeteria were other members of the student body have started to gather for lunch.

"So what would you like to eat?" asks Kyoya

"MEAAAAT!" Says Luffy

"Um…What kind?" Asks Kyoya "We have Roasted Chicken, Roast Beef, Beef Stew, Filet Minon, Prime Rib, Leg of Lamb…."

But Luffy wasn't paying attention. He was only dancing around chanting "Meat! Meat! Yay meat!"

Sanji sighs "This guy is a goat; he'll eat anything remotely edible, no point in wasting anything fancy on him."

The group all dish up on elegant gourmet cafeteria food and look for a place to sit.

"Hey, Hey! Over here! Over Here!" The group hears the sound of two voices call out in perfect harmony.

They turn to see the twins waving enthusiastically with Haruhi between them trying to shrink into her seat in embarrassment from the attention the two doppelgangers are drawing. The pirate band head over and sit down.

"Hey guys." Smiles Nami "What are you having for lunch today?"

"Oh nothing special." Say the twins their usual synchronized speech "Just cappelini and barbary duck and foie gras with poire perigeux sauce."

"Nothing special." Haruhi sighs "Puh, rich kids…"

"What are you eating?" asks Nami looking at Haruhi's wrapped bento boxed lunch.

"Just last night's leftovers…I usually eat in the class room, but sometimes the twins drag me here. What do you think of the cafeteria food?"

"It's pretty good." Says Ussop "Like something you get at a swanky restaurant."

"All of the chefs in our cafeteria trained at prestigious culinary schools all over Europe." Says Hikaru.

"A few are head chefs at 4 and 5 star restaurants." Says Kaoru

"Speaking of chefs…" Says Tamaki looking around at the group noticing someone missing. "Where's that blond cook of yours?"

"My guess would be the kitchen." Says Robin "Every new place we go he's always interested in observing the local cuisine."

Nami nods "And if I'm not mistaken he should be working the kitchen by now wowing the chefs with his expertise." Nami says nonchalantly

"Haha!" laughs Tamki "I'm don't know the extent of your ship's cook's culinary skills, but I'm sure it would be he who is being wowed by our school chefs renowned talent and ability…"

"Oi! Sanji!" Calls Luffy "Seconds! And make it something more filling that what they gave me before. I'm still hungry."

"Hai, hai…" Says Sanji coolly to Luffy and turns back to the other chefs in the kitchen. As he starts whipping up something for his glutton of a Capitan as he continues on about what he had been talking about before.

"…This is the same discussion I had with the chefs of the Naval Fortress G8…Ah lovely Jessica…" Sanji zones out for a bit daydreaming about the beautiful head chef he temporally worked under while in disguise and hiding while trapped in the fortress… "Ah anyway" Snapping out of his daze "…they boasted the ability to cook for over 100 hungry naval men and women. While the food they made was quality and they were able to prepare it quickly and efficiently, it lacked nutrition and substance…"

By the time Sanji finished this statement he had finished his crewmates order. "Oi Luffy!" Sanji calls

"Woohoo! Sanji cooking." Luffy zipps up to the food counter and back to the table before anyone could blink and starts wolfing down the food.

"Hey Sanji-kun." Says Nami "Could you make me something too? This food is a bit too rich for me… you know what I like."

"Hai Nami-Swan." Sanji, giving his trademark joyful response.

"You see…" Sanji continues his lecture while making something for the object of his affection. "Though the people you cook for here are the progenies of the rich upper crust, they're still growing boys and girls and need the proper nutrition…"

The chefs were all nodding at what Sanji had been talking about taking to heart what he was taking about.

"Yes, yes that make scene…"

"Here you go Nami my sweet sun goddess."

Sanji had whipped up Nami's favorite sandwich: lettuce, tomatoes, swiss, almonds, sprouts, no mayo, light mustard with the best most thinly sliced cut meat the kitchen had, all the ingredients heated before being put on a hot roll that had just come out of the oven which Sanji had whipped up from scratch, a side of fruit and some freshly brewed tea he added cinnamon and orange zest to.

"Thank you Sanji-kun."

"Don't mention it Nami my sweet."

By then the group of girls from Kyoya and Tamaki's class had come up to the food counter too. "U-um…Sanji-san. C-could you make something for us too...?"

"But of course my lovely ladies." Sanji beams

And at that a line starts forming to make orders for Sanji's cooking

The chefs stand marveling at the quickness and efficiency Sanji starts to work. The kitchen is a domain Sanji clearly was master of. He put out food orders quickly and effectantly. His skill honed from years of being asstiant head chef at a busy and popular restarant and from having being the only cook on a ship that where he had to feed a human back hole on top of the hardy apitites of the other cerw members. Feeding Luffy was the same as having to feed 100 hungry Navy Sailors everyday.

"Just look at how he works…there's no wasted movement…he's hardly breaking a sweat."

"Amazing technique. He doesn't waste a thing…"

"The food is just as elegant, yet you can see there's more subsistence to it…"

The chef all mummer taking note of Sanji culinary prowess.

Nami returns to sit down at the table giving Tamaki a self satisfied "Told ya so." grin

Tamaki looks rather irritated have to eat his words.

The twins laughing their asses off at him didn't help.

"Hahah! They sure showed you M'lord" they snicker

"Oh quiet you delinquent doppelgangers. So he can cook. Big deal." Pouts Tamaki

"Wha! This has to be the best food I've ever tasted." Comes sequels of delight from the group of girls.

The cafeteria fills with praise of the curly eye browed cook's culinary conceptions.

Tamkai tries, unsuccessfully, pretending that the complements didn't piss him the hell off, though Tamaki wasn't the best at hiding his emotions. Everyone was well aware of the dark cloud of irritation looming over him.

"There's no reason to get upset Tamaki Sempia." Says Harhui "He has a talent and doesn't mind sharing his skills and wisdom. Most chefs would probably selfishly guard their best recipes and not want anyone to know their secrets. He's seems like a very giving person."

Haruhi's priase did nothing but flame his Tamaki's irritation.

"That's right Tama-chan!" beams Hunny sempai "No reason to get fussy over food! Here! Have some cake." Hunny trying to smooth things over with his 'cake makes everything better' logic.

Seeing the cake seems to only piss Tamaki off more, for it was not a variety of cake the school made, nor from the cake suppler the host club ordered from. "Hunny sempai…" Tamaki said as his eye starting twitching "…That cake…."

"Sa-chan baked it!" Hunny beams pointing at a rather large layer cake that Sanji had just recently whipped up. He had frosted it with fluffy white frosting and tubbed out the decoration of meticulous white swirls. "It's chocolate cake filled with caramel, vanilla, and chocolate cream, iced with yummy fluffy white frosting. It's super yummy! I've had five pieces already. You have this piece." Hunny pushes the plated cake into Tamaki's hands and bounds back over for another helping of his own.

"Is that kid for real? How can someone stand so much sugar?"" asks Zoro, detester of sweets.

"He's an alien I tell you!" says a random passer by-er that wore glass and bore a slight resemblance to Hunny.

"That would explain it." Nods Zoro

"Wow! A real live alien." Says the reindeer man who easily believes tall tales and extremely exaggerated statements "I've never met one before…"

At that point Sanji comes over to the group with cake for the rest of them.

"Woot! Sanji Cake." Says Luffy reaching for a piece

Sanji's heel comes down heavily on Luffy's head. "How many times do I hafta tell you dumb ass… Ladies first!"

Sanji has his sudden trademark attitude shift turning to the girls beaming "Hai my lovely princesses of prefection Nami- san, Robin-swan luscious cake make with love from my heart for you to enjoy." Sanij sets a piece of cake down in front of his two female crew mates.

"And I need not forget you my lovely princess in hiding." Sanji says softly to Haruhi setting a piece in front of her.

"Thank you." Smiles Haruhi politely. She looks down at the artfully crafted confection. "It looks good." Haruhi looks picks up her fork a looks in anticipation at the cake. Haruhi did have a soft spot when it came to food and after hearing about how good Sanji's cooking was she was secretly eager to try it.

"Ittadakemasu." She says as she puts a bite of the decedent dessert in her mouth. Haruhi pulls the fork out slowly letting the cake settle on her tongue.

It melts in her mouth and the flavorful confection overwhelms her taste buds.

Haruhi sits still and silent as she savors the, mediating on the fact that it's obscenely lusciously delicious beyond all possible reason.

It takes a moment for her brain to register just how amazing the taste is.

As her mind catches up with her taste buds, a pleasurable shudder runs through Haruhi's body. "Mmmm…" was the only thing she could manage to utter.

A big wide proud boasting grin spread across Sanji's face. It was one of _those_ grins. Every guy has one. Luffy had one when he talked about how he was going to the King of Pirates, Zoro had one when he talked about become a great swords man, Ussop had one when he boasted about being a great warrior of the sea. And Naturally, Sanji had one too. It appeared frequently when he talked about All Blue or when he knows he's made something delicious beyond all reason and he knows the taster thinks so too. And seeing Haurhi's reaction to his cake caused the grin to make an appearance once again.

The grin infuriated Tamaki. And he sat stewing to himself.

"T-This is…" Haruhi couldn't find the right word for it. Delicious was a serious understatement. Haruhi had never tasted anything so good in her entire life. It was even better than the cakes the Host Club served. What they said about Sanjis cooking was true. The cake was not only delicious beyond all reason, but it also filled her with warmth and goodness. It reminded her somewhat of her mothers cooking. Even though her mother had been busy working as a top attorney, she still made time to make meals full of love and tenderness for her family. "Its…" Haruhi tried again to find the words for this cake.

"Orgasmic isnt it?" Nami said with playfully lustful undertones

"W-What!?" asks a very stunned Haruhi. That wasn't quite the word she was looking for…

"Sanjis cake. Sanji says he makes food with love from his heart. Its true! Call me crazy, but you can really taste the love. Sanji put's his heart and soul into the things he cooks, and even more when it's for people he likes. And when Sanji makes cake, Oh man! Its nothing short of sex in the form of food. Don't you agree?"

"I wouldn't really know…I never really had a boyfriend let alone…" Haruhi felt her face become warm with flush thinking about such a thing

"Oh how cute, your blushing." Smiles Nami

"How dare you taint my precious daughter's innocent ears with such lewd insinuations!" cries Tamaki

Zoro raises an eyebrow "Daughter?"

"Don't ask." Sighs Kyoya

"What?" asks Nami ignoring the side commentary "It's a completely natural thing, there's nothing to get upset about."

"It's a completely lewd and inappropriate topic for my daughter's virgin ears!"

A repressed snicker comes from the direction of the twins. " 'Virgin Ears?' I bet she hears more from her _real_ dad who's a cross-dresser at a gay bar."

"That's true." Says Haruhi indifferently "Some times when he comes home drunk he goes on about the all weird stuff his customers talk about like &#$ and &$# and how some of his customers are into weird stuff like &$#." -_Use you imagination for these_-

"Hmmm. Sounds like fun." Smiles Robin

Her crew members all look at her. Not exactly surprised however…there was still a lot they didn't know about their mysterious crew mate.

"H-Haruhi!" Tamaki utterly shocked. He turns to Kyoya "Mother! Did you hear the filth that came out of our daughter's mouth?!"

"Yes." Kyoya sighs indifferently "It appears Haruhi's 'virgin ears' have already been tainted, so anything Miss Nami says has no impact."

"Mother?" Zoro raising an eyebrow at Kyoya

"I said don't ask." Says Kyoya, glasses gleaming

Haruhi goes to fork another piece of her cake only to hear the clunk of the fork hitting the table. She looks down to see it was no longer in the place it had been and was actually being confiscated by Tamaki.

"Hey! Tamaki Sempai! What's the big idea?" She asked starting to get annoy by Tamki's behavior today.

"I will not have my precious daughter consume another bit of this lewd confection. All that sugar and butter cream isn't good for you."

"As if Sempai." Haurhi snatching the cake back from Tamaki "I eat cake everyday in club."

"Oi M'Lord." Says Hikaru "Don't forget how fierce food grudges are among commoners…"

But Tamaki paid no heed to the elder twin's warning, snatching the cake back from Haruhi. "Don't be an unruly daughter! Papa's only thinking about what's best for you."

The cake was again snatched way form Tamaki, this time by Sanji. "I think the lady is quite capable of deciding what's best for her on her own." Sanji set the cake back down in front of Haruhi while glaring malevolently at Tamaki. His dark antagonistic demeanor had returned again.

"This has nothing to do with you!" Tamaki fires at Sanji "This is an issue between Father and Daughter!"

Sanji raises his curly eyebrow. Before Sanji can say anything Tamaki holds up his hand.

"No, no. I know what you're gonna ask." Tamaki had already gone through this with Kasanoda kun. He was prepared this time. "No, I have no relation what-so ever to Haruhi's mother or other family members of hers, HOWEVER! I'm very _similar_ to Haurhi's real father." Tamaki nods his head mater of factly.

"So?" asks Sanji

"Hu oh, M'Lord's in trouble now." Chime the twins.

Tamaki was somewhat thrown but continued to explain his logic. "So…" Tamaki started slowly trying to retain composure. "Even though I'm not her father, I have similar mannerisms and characteristics as her father…"

"Ya and?" Sanji shrugged

Tamaki was really stumped now. What other way could he explain his parental privilege?

While the hamster wheel workings of Tamaki's mind started turning to come up with something, Sanji, getting more annoyed with this guy by the second starts pointing out the flaws of Tamaki's logic.

"So you're _similar _her father. Woopthy freaken doo. This guy's similar to a monkey…" Sanji said making a head gesture towards Luffy "That doesn't actually make him one."

"Hu? I'm Monkey D. Luffy." Says Luffy confused, not having any clue about the actual conversation.

"Yes, we know dear." Smiles Nami patting Luffy on the head. "Eat your cake."

Luffy shurged and went back to stuffing his face.

Sanji continued "The fact that you're _like_ her father doesn't actually _make_ you her father _nor_ does it give you parental authority over her…"

"Eh?" Tamaki's world was starting to deflate and crumble. "It doesn't?"

"Hell no! And even you were if by some _bizarre_ sick twist of fate, you can't stop her from making her own decisions." Continued Sanji

"That is true…" comments Kyoya "Ranka san did talk about how Haruhi is strong willed and often does things of her own accord…"

"Mother! Whose side are you on?" Cries Tamaki

"Which ever side is of most benefit to me." Answers Kyoya honestly.

Sanji snickers

"Shut up!" shoots Tamaki. He was getting more and more aggravated with this guy. He really didn't know why. What was it about him that bothered him off so much?

"Wanna try and make me freak?" Sanji countered. It was hard for Sanji to believe there was another guy in the universe that pissed him off just as much as Marimo.

"You have no business interfering in things that have nothing to do with you." Tamaki lashes out "I'm the King of the Host Club. Haruhi is under my care and supervision. So I decide what's best for her. Huruhi is MINE! So you just stay the hell away from her!"

"Ah, so that's how it is." Nods Nami "Thought so."

"I figured the same thing." Agreed Robin

"Ya, too bad he's clueless about it himself." Shrugs the twins chiming in.

"I see." Says Luffy

"If you '_It's mysterious_' I'm gonna smack you." Glares Nami

In the midst of the side commentary every single person in the cafeteria was now looking in the direction of the Host Club's table.

Murmurs of gossip fill the hall.

"Ne ne, what's going on with the Host Club?!"

"Looks like Tamaki-sama and one of the foreigners are auguing…"

"Ah, the lovely battle for Hauri-kun's affection grows." Swoons Renge "The love and friendship between men is so beautiful."

"It is indeed." Swoons Renge's Moe followers

"Tamaki Sempai! That's ENOUGH!" Haruhi put her foot down.

"H-Haruhi… You're not on his side are you?" asked Tamaki

"I'm not on anyone's side! Though, I can't say I condone your behavior today Tamaki Sempai!" Haruhi had put up with a lot from Tamaki ever since she joined the host club, and mostly she just sucked it up a dealt with it. But this was the proverbial straw the broke the camels back. Something inside her just snapped. "Just what the hell is wrong with you! All you can think of is your own selfish ideals! Why don't you use you head once in a while! Or at least practice some common sense! I'll never understand you! You're just so…so…childish! GROW UP!"

Haruhi stands up and storms out.

"Haruhi…" Tamaki looks after Haruhi as she leaves looking gloomy and crestfallen.

Everyone figured it was over at this. When Haruhi got mad and stormed out Tamaki would usually deflate and sulk in his corner of dejection.

However, that didn't happen this time. Tamaki looked depressed one moment and then in the next his anger returned and he wheeled on Sanji again lashing out again.

"Now look what you're done!" Tamaki yells accusingly "Haruhi is all upset!"

"Don't blame me." Says Sanji badly wanting a cigarette right about now. "I'm not the one dumb enough to try and order around a strong willed woman like that. You may know how to sweet talk a girl at your tea parties in your own little dream world; but the world isn't one big tea party you know. You wouldn't even begin to know what to do with a real woman in the real world, especially a smart girl like that."

"Why you!" Tamaki lashes out in rage at Sanji. However instead of Tamki making contact with his fist, Sanji only gets a face full of cake. It was the piece Hunny had given him. Tamaki had forgotten he was still holding.

There was a collective gasp throughout the two groups.

Tamaki didn't really care a fist or food what the hell did it matter.

He didn't care that is, until he noticed the looks of shock and terror on the faces of his fellow host club members.

"Tamaki..." Comes a cold dark voice "Unforgivable."

Tamaki looks down at the 4 foot 11 senior whose sweet sugary personality had melted away to reveal his a dark daunting demeanor.

It suddenly dawns on Tamaki what a grave a mistake he had just made. A food fight was one thing, but when cake was a casualty Hunny was not pleased. Wasting cake in front of Hunny was right up there with waking him up prematurely from his nap or doing something to his precious bunny plushie. Tamaki greatly feared for his life.

He tried to look around to find Mori sempai to contain the fall out that was about to go down, but in looking for Mori he saw the looks of shock and terror on the faces of the lost band of pirates.

Surely they didn't know the horror that is Hunny's wrath.

But no, it was not Hunny they feared.

Tamaki slowly turned his head to look at the person they were looking uneasily apprehensive at.

Sanji's dark and antagonist aura had grown in to a swirling dark miasma of irritation and fury that was comparable to that of both Hunny _and_ Kyoya's when someone managed to piss them off. The negative energy seemed to be growing to overshadow Hunny's

The Mugiwara band knew the only thing that could piss Sanji off more that Zoro and more than disrespecting a lady was wasting food he had made with love and care. The last man that had done that had been beaten bloody and nearly broken. This level of rage was second only to their Capitan when some managed to piss him off.

Yes, Tamaki was in some deep ass shit

"Ne, ne, Hunny Sempai…" Say the twins taking shelter behind Mori "No need to get angry, there's lot's more cake left ya know… Mori…do something…"

Mori holds up Hunny's bunny plushie "Seeing Mitsukuni upset makes Usa chan sad." Says Mori

Hunny's dark eyes shift to look over at Mori holding up his beloved bunny plushie.

The twins both flinch and try to shrink more behind the tall senior. Mori doesn't blink.

Hunny's cold dark stare lingers for a moment and then melts at the sight of his fluffy friend. "Wah! Yummy cake going to waist makes me sad, but Usa-chan being sad makes me sadder." Hunny pounces and glomps Usa-chan "Usa-chan, don't be sad. Let's get some more cake."

There was a collective sigh of relief as the bomb was defused. However, there was still one bomb left.

"Fucking rich bastard." Comes the dark menacingly hostile voice of one very pissed off Sanji "If you wanna fight then fight like a man. How dare you waist food in such away."

"O-oi S-Sanji!" Ussop quakes hiding with Chopper behind Luffy. "Don't kill him… he's only a lowly mortal."

"Oh I'm not gonna kill him." Says Sanji

Ussop sighs in relief.

Sanji eyes flash with a dark menacing glare that makes Ussop go right back to fretting "But he's gonna _want_ me to kill him by the time I'm done with him."

Tamaki made a small whimpering sound in his thought. He had been mad thinking he could take on this guy. He was too young and pretty to be tortured.

The twins turn to Luffy. "Oi oi, your his captain right? Can't you like give him an order not to hurt M'Lord"

"Nope." Says Luffy plainly

"What? Why not?" The twins cry in unison

"Sanji's been insulted. He as the right to defend his honor as a man. I can't interfear."

"What kind of stupid logic is that?" Asks Hikaru

"It's the Pirates Code!" Says Chopper "

"Bloody Pirates." groans Kaoru

"Kyoya! You do something then." Says Hikaru "Call your private army or something."

"It apperars I don't have to do anything." Kyoya says calmly

"Hu?" The tence twin wondered what the Shadow King meant.

"Sanji- kun." Nami's voice came calmly and quietly yet sternly. "That's quite enough. You've already proved youra badass. Let it go."

The dark clouds cleared but some tension remained and Sanji still glared darkly at Tamaki.

Nami stood up and turned Sanji's face to look at her. "What am I going to do with you?" Nami sighed. She took a napkin and started cleaning the cake off his face.  
As she did the tension and darkness slowly melted away from Sanji.  
She wiped the last little bit of frosting away from his cheek with her finger and licked it off. The rest of the tension broke.

A collective flood of relief washed over the group and they managed to get through lunch with out anyone being sent to the infirmary. But now everyone knew they would have to keep a close eye on the two feuding blonds.

* * *

And thus the drama begins.

I can't bleave I've been writing One Piece Fan fiction for 8 months and only just now made and PotC refeance...curious

If Renge can come up from the floor on a spinning dias powered by a high powered motor, and Nami can pull manga out of no where, then yes, Sanji can bake a huge cake and have it frosted in a matter of minutes. Sanji has mad chef skilz like that. Plus they're in Ouran Univers. anything and everything can happen.

Note: I'd just like to state for the record for people that are sticklers for this sort of thing…I'm going by info about Ouran from not only the anime but also the way events happen in the comic… the events in the last eps of the Amine happen completely different than those in the Manga… Such as what Haruhi knows about Tamaki and his past and when she finds out. And also of course, the settling of her debt...In the manga Hatori Bisco implies in an omake extra that Haruhi's debt may never be settled XD…she also points out a few times that the comic exists outside the normal restraints of time… given the fact the students never advance to the next grade and Mori and Hunny never graduate.

For the One Piece stuff I'm drawing from the Anime mostly, since I haven't read the manga really and Tho there is no place in the One Piece timeline were this would fit, I guess it would be sometime after Skypiea but before Water 7. The stuff centered around Sanji and Nami, I'm drawing from my imagination. In Chapter two when I wrote

"_No guy has ever made me feel this at ease…except one… and that was only after a very long and bumpy roller coaster ride of emotional discord, but that was another story…_"

The "other story" is referring to the Sanji Nami series I've been writing and the bumpy roller coaster happens mostly in the first story 'to have loved and lost' and picks up again in the third story; shamlessplugwhat? ;


	7. Chapter 7

Here's a short chapter to open things up for a more interesting plot and get more of the characters involved.

-- means Change of secne

* * *

"Stop picking on Toni-chan!" Says the short blond bunny bearing kid they call Hunny Sempai. "From now on picking on Toni-chan is a no-no!" 

The pirates look on amazed at the way the two troublesome twins actually seem rather intimidated by the scolding being given to them by the kid that looked half their age. It was hard to image such a cute sweet looking kid like him could have such a horrific dark side. It really is the cute ones you have to fear. (1)

"Ah-" Say the twins in there usual harmonious speech "You know us Hunny Sempai. We were just having some fun."

"We weren't gonna hurt him." Says the twin with the left part in his hair identified as Kaoru.

"Probably…" Says the twin with the right part in his hair identified as Hikaru.

It was the end of the day and everyone was back in the third floor music room. The Host Club was closed given that Tamaki was sulking in his corner of dejection and Haruhi was in a bad mood. It was like the beach episode all over again.

Chopper was free to reverent back to his typical stature, but this only resulted in the mischievous twins picking back up on chasing and tormenting the poor little tonikai again. (2)

But it seemed Chopper was safe for the timing being now that Hunny had offered his protection.

"Ano ne! Toni-chan." Smiles Hunny-kun turning toward Chopper who was hiding, unsuccessfully, behind the piano in the corner of the room. "If you wanna hide behind something wouldn't it be better to have most of your body _behind_ the object instead of the other way around like you have it?"

Chopper seeing the fault in the traditional way he hides and peeks around things, switches to hide behind the piano in the proper way. "Who you calling Toni-_chan _dumb ass! They call me Chopper! And I can be really vicious if I wanna!"

Hunny ignores Chopper's threatening tone and walks over to the shy apprehensive reindeer.

Chopper backs away from Hunny nervously.

What did this boy want? Chopper thought to himself. The blond boy was staring at him strangely as if he was some delicious delicacy. He wondered what the blond had in mind for him. Chopper kept backing away, but soon he had no room to back up.

Hunny was staring at Chopper with big wide gleaming eyes clutching his Usa-chan tight.

"What's he gonna do to me?" thinks Chopper "He called off those twins, but I really don't think this is much of an improvement."

Hunny just couldn't hold himself back any more. He had wanted to do this to Chopper from the first moment he had laid eyes on him. Hunny couldn't resist.

"Waaaaiii!"

Hunny pounces and wraps his arms tightly around Chopper glompling him with great happiness and glee. "You're so soft and cuddly!" Says Hunny rubbing his cheek against Choppers fur. "It's like having my very own walking talking stuffed animal!"

"Ah Hahahaha! Shut up you stupid idiot!" Laughs Chopper doing his cute happy dance "Don't think I'm happy because you think I'm cute and cuddly."

"You look pretty happy to us." Says the Twins

"Ah Chopper can't hide his feelings every well." Says Ussop "He's really easy to read."

"If you say so." Says Kaoru "But what are we gonna do now?"

"Now that Hunny Sempai intervened we can't play with our new toy." Sighs Hikaru

"Ah." Says Ussop with a gleam in his eye. "You like interesting toys hmm…Oi Luffy…"

--

"Three sword technique?" inquires the tall stoic boy of few words they called Mori

"That's right." Nods Zoro

"I know of the Two Sword technique… but how do you utilize the third sword?"

"I hold it with my teeth like this." Says Zoro demonstrating the stance of his specialized technique "It's a style I developed on my own and has taken me years to master, I'm still developing and fine tuning some techniques…"

Mori tilts his head to one side and gives Zoro a curious look.

"What?" asks Zoro

"How can you talk with the sword in your mouth?" asks Mori

"It's my heart of a warrior that allows me to speak." Explains Zoro (3)

Mori "…"

--

"Is all this padding really necessary?" asked Hikaru or Kaoru. You couldn't tell 'cause the helmet was wearing hid what side his part was on. He was also covered in a variety of protective padding. "Shouldn't you be wearing padding since I'm gonna be hitting you?"

Ussop only grinned wide "Don't underestimate the Great Warrior of the Sea, Capitan Ussop! Come at me with everything you got."

--

"Like this?" Asks Mori

"Not bad…" Said Zoro teaching Mori the beginning stance for one of his two sword techniques "but you need to have your back more rigged and raise your right hand a bit...That's it. You're not bad. Your family's Kendo Dojo goes back generations you say?"

"Ah." Mori gives is trademark affirmative grunt

"I see…" Zoro was happy to have a fellow sword specialist to talk to. Sure there were lots of people impressed by his technique but only a fellow student of the sword could truly appreciate it. "Here, let me show you a more advanced technique."

--

"So since Haruhi joined, he's been at this 'Mother, father, daughter' thing?" Asks Nami

"Yes." Sighs Kyoya "The inner workings of Tamaki's brain are a complete and utter mystery. On the surface he's a complete idiot yet academically he's intelligent. The most ridiculous things flow from his mouth like a raging river of nonsense but every so often he says something profound and insightful. One moment he's acting like absolute fool and the next he seems relatively normal. I've given up trying to figure him out, so I've stopped fighting and just go with whatever crazy tangent he's on."

Nami and Robin look at each other and smile knowingly.

"Yes we know what that's like." Says Nami

"It's futile to argue with Luffy's logic and once he's got in his head to do something there's no stopping him." Says Robin. "But as crazy as his logic is most of the time, sometimes he hits on something deep. He sees and understands the thing that's really important, when we often miss it. He's not exactly intelligent, but he's wise enough to realize and admit his short comings. And thus he has sought out people with the skills he lacks as his crewmembers. People with the specific talents he needs to help him achieve his dream. But us all being together pursuing his dream allows us to pursue our dreams as well. We all benefit from joining his crew and sailing with him as our captain. This seems similar to your situation with the host club. You are all following his ideal, and yet you all seem to benefit from it in your own way."

Kyoya nods "This is very true. The host club was his idea and he sought out the others for their individual talents. And although it seems like a crazy whim, we all decided to go along with his idiotic plans; being in this club has benefits for all of us. However I still can't fathom why he wanted to start the host club in the first places nor can I figure out his peculiar split personality…"

"Did he grow up on his own from a young age or have to help take care of someone? Is he an only child? Is he trying to please someone or gain recognition or approval from someone?" Nami asks

Kyoya gives Nami a careful, curious look calculating Nami's insightfulness. "He's an only child and grew up in France with his Mother who's prone to illness. She was his father's mistress and he divorced his wife after falling in love with her and wanted to bring both her and Tamaki to Japan, but Tamaki's Grandmother, his Father's Mother and head of the Suoh household wouldn't allow it. However Tamaki's father didn't produce any heirs with his wife when they were married so a few years ago, she allowed only Tamaki to come to Japan. She despises him and he's not allowed to live in the main mansion. He lives on his own at the second Suoh mansion being watched over by servants…"

Nami gives a satisfied smile.

Kyoya riases a curious eyebrow "And how exactly do you factor this into Tamaki's insane demeanor?"

Opened her mouth to speak, but was suddenly interrupted.

"IMPACT!"

Nami's mouth snapped shut and she suddenly got an'Oh Shit' feeling.

There was the sound of something exploding followed by yelling as one of the tenacious twins was sent flying head over heals across the room.

"Gomu Gomu no Fusen!" Luffy blew up into a balloon to stop the flying boy before he went splat against the wall.

"Wicked!" says the other twin that hadn't been sent flying.

Nami's hand goes to her forehead "Freaken Ussop. I can't _believe_ he brought out the Skypia Dials… well, it's not all _that_ unbelievable…"

Nami stands up and turns to flash a furious glare at the mischievous marksman. "USSOP!!"

Ussop suddenly contracts Nami's 'Oh shit' feeling and dashes off.

"Honestly! What am I going to do with these boys?" Nami gives a heavy sigh "Well at least they didn't break anything…"

"_Santōryū! Hyaku Hachi Pondou Hou_!" (4)

Nami cringes at the sound of Zoro calling out his 108 Earthly Desires Technique, one of his most devastating attacks.

The sound of three cutting waves of Ki slash through the air followed the unmistaken sound of something shattering.

"Oops."

Nami's legs give way and she slumps to the floor. "Why?" Nami moans in a whimpering dejected voice.

* * *

(1) "P33r teh cute ones" from Megatokyo 

(2) Tonikai- Japanese for Reindeer. It's why he's called Toni Toni Chopper. **Toni**kai

(3) Oda's answer when questioned about how Zoro could talk with a sword in his mouth was that it was Zoro's heart that allows him to speak.

(4) Zoro's sword attacks are all puns. Like his "Demon Cut" _Oni Giri_ attack is a pun for Onigiri, as in rice ball.  
Hyaku Hachi Pondou Hou can mean either 108-Pound-Cannon or refer to the 108 Earthly Desires from Buddhism  
I looked up info on his attacks from wikipedia

I'll try to update as often as I can, but I'm also back to working on my Sanji Nami fic again at the same time as writing this one and I also have a life outside of writing fics as well. Work has been busy….


	8. Chapter 8

Another Short Chapter to further plot develpoment...The other chapter most likely won't be up as quickly.

* * *

"The antique Folly and Wooster tea sets your swordsman reduced to so much dust only added up to about 3,000,000 yen (_About $ 300,000_)." Says Kyoya calculating the new Debt of the unfortunate Straw Hat Pirates. 

"_Only_ he says." Mummbles Haruhi "Rich kids…though they did get off easy compared to me..."

"3,000,000 yen?" Agonizes Nami "That sounds like a lot! How much is that in Belli?... we have all that gold from Skypia…but it's all back on the ship. Crap! What are we gonna do?"

"When in Rome do as Romans do." Tamaki was out of his corner now that he had another one of his drastic changes in attitude. "If you don't have the money then you gotta work it off."

"It's not as substantial as Haruhi's debt and since there's more of you to work there should be no problem in paying it off quickly." Says Kyoya nonchalantly "Maybe just a year, unlike the three it would take Haruhi."

"A year!" Frets Ussop "We gotta be stuck here for a whole year!"

"Two Weeks!" Says Luffy "There's no way we can stay here for a year. We have important adventuring to do."

Kyoya smiles his cold devious smile, glasses gleaming "Do you really think you can pay off your debt in two weeks? Besides, you can't go anywhere until Nekozawa figures out how to send you back. I know you all are pirates, but don't think we'll let you leave here before you've paid us back in full."

Nami got a cold sinking feeling "Crap. I _knew_ I didn't wanna get on this guys bad side." She mumbled.

"Three weeks then." Says Luffy

"Luffy I don't think that'll work either." Says Sanji "You can't get out of it like you did with Zeff. I doubt there's some notorious villain you can beat up for them as compensation."

"Three weeks then." Says Tamaki

"Hu?" asks the perplexed pirates

"Uh…Tamaki, what hair brain plan are you plotting this time?" asks the exasperated Shadow King

"I offer a challenge!" declares Tamaki

"Ooh! M'lord's issuing challenges again." Says Kouru

"This should be mildly amusing." Says Hikaru

"Will it be a cake eating challenge?" Asks Hunny "That would be fun."

"I declare a Hosting Challenge!" States Tamaki "If you can beat our Natural Rooky here…" Tamaki hooking his arm around Haurhi's neck and drawing her uncomfortably close to him… "And draw her quota of 1000 customers, in Three Weeks, your debt will be waved. If NOT! Then you shall have to work like dogs until you pay us back DOUBLE the amount!"

"DOUBLE!" Frets Nami "That's 6,000,000 yen…Gah! How much is that in Belli???? Sounds like a lot."

"Wow M'lord that's devious." Chimes the twins

"Not even Kyoya sempai would make them pay back double." Says Hikaru

"Ya, tac on a 15 percent interst rate maybe, but not double." Says Kaoru

"Well if they're not up for the challenge, then they can just work like dogs for us for a year." Says Tamaki

"We accept!" says Luffy

"LUFFY!! You idiot! Don't just decide on your ow…nah forget it." Nami, deflates and looses her will to fight. "You _would_ go a long with it. I know by now all protests are pointless." She gives a disheartened sigh

* * *

Challenge! 

I know Sanji won't have trouble getting his mack on...tho what about Luffy? He probably doesn't even know what the word flurt means. And what will Zoro do? He's like Mori, tho like I said before, he lacks a lovely item XD hmm...what to do


	9. Chapter 9

"Tamaki… If I did know better I'd say your challenge was a small plot of vengeance." Says Kyoya

It was later that evening and Tamaki, again, had invited himself over to Kyoya's house

"Vengeance? What ever are you talking about?" Laughs Tamaki

"I'd say you're trying to get back at that blond chef by setting him and his friends up with a difficult, some would say impossible, challenge." Says Kyoya

"Get back at him?" Laughs Tamaki "I would never stoop to something so childish as to disguise a challenge as some underhanded plot at revenge. Though, it would serve him well to learn how hard we work at weaving a fanciful dream world for our beloved customers. It's a complex and demanding task that takes class, elegance and refinement along with imagination, style and a bit of flair. Qualities I doubt some rouge pirate cook would possess. I'd like to see how he fairs at the '_Tea parties in our little dream world_''. The way he takes our business so lightly is an insult…"

And thus Tamaki became lost in rant pacing in a frantic dance like strut around Kyoya's room.

Kyoya sighs "Right, no devious underling intent what so ever. Maybe some of me is rubbing off on him…Though, I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing...

---

The Host Club is now open…

"…and the very next day, after we made that vow, her father told me she was _dead_. I couldn't believe it. Such a great swords master done in by such a cruel fate and to be taken down before the world would know of her greatness. My goal was made exceedingly clear. I _had_ to become the world's greatest swordsman no matter what the cost."

A of wave apathetic 'awws' followed by a tsunami of tears came rushing forth from the group of girls sitting around Zoro.

"How terribly tragic." Cried one

"How sad, to lose your childhood friend in such a way." Cried another

"Do not weep such tears." Said Zoro "A great swords master never truly dies. Their soul remains forever in the sword they wielded to achieve their greatness. And it is in this fashion I carry her sword, her very soul, as I strive to realize not only my dream, but hers."

Another wave of heart felt awws fill the room.

"…He saved me both from drowning _and_ getting eaten. I was shocked to see his arm had been bitten off by the monster. I felt so bad. It was all my fault his arm was gone. I though he would hate me or yell at me or something. But he didn't. He just smiled his same happy smile. And before he left town, he told me to become stronger and meet up with him again when I did. Then he gave me this hat. It's my greatest treasure and I kick anyone's ass who messes it up."

"What a great story! We're so moved." Cried the group of girls Luffy was currently um…hosting.

"What a wonderful man. I see why you look up to him." Said one girl

"Ya Shanks is great!" Beams Luffy "I wanna be just as great as him some day."

"What a great aspiration." Says a very touched and moved girl. "It gives me new ambition to follow the one I truly admire. You're story is truly and inspiration."

The other girls nod in agreement

"…knowing the sadness and heartache of being without ones loving parents I took it upon myself to cheer up the poor girl. Ah, and what a beautiful and lovely girl she was. Her evil caretaker was after the fortune left to her by her parents and kept her locked on the fifth floor, a very prisoner in her own home. But she could not leave, even if she had the chance, for in spite of her radiance, she was sadly a very sickly girl. Every day I would scale their 20 foot high fence and climb the 50 foot high tree to were I could come up to her window. I would then tell her stories of daring adventures much to her joy and delight."

"How romantic." Sighed one of the girls in the group surrounding Ussop.

"It's just like a princess in the tower fairy tale." Sighed another.

"How sweet of you to go to such lengths for another."

"It was nothing!" says Ussop "My greatest joy in life is bringing happiness to others."

"Well you're sure making us happy." Beams one girl.

"What kinds of stories did you tell her?" asks another girl.

Ussop grins a wide beaming grin.

"… I cut open the bag and was shocked to find it full of nothing but gold and jewels. Not a scrap of food what so ever. I couldn't believe it. That old geezer saved me from the crushing depths of the ocean and then he had given me all the food, not taking any for himself. We thought we where going to die on that god forsaken island, but our fate changed and a ship finally passed by. We were saved. It was then I found out, his dream was the same as my dream. I helped him with his restaurant and together we fed those that were hungry no mater how penny-less or vile they may be. It's a terrible thing to feel the pain of starvation and I hope that no one I know would ever have to feel that. The gift of good food is something anyone can enjoy. I have a mission of spreading the knowledge about good hardy healthy food everywhere I go and hopefully whoever I pass it to will pass it on to another and thus throughout the world."

"Such a touching tale Sanji kun. You fight for a truly great and noble cause." Swoons the Sanji fangirls from earlier. The group had vastly multiplied since the pirate band's appearance in the class the other day, and seemed Sanji had drawn the most customers out of the pirate turned hosts group.

Tamaki stood staring blankly in utter shock and disbelief "MAH!"

"Hmm, it seems rogue pirates are doing well." Says Kyoya jotting notes in his file. "It's only their first day and they've already filled about 15 percent of the proposed quota."

"Not bad Not bad." chime the twins

"Pirates are popular these days…" says Hikaru

"Not that our customers _know_ they're pirates…but they do give off a kinda rouge vibe." Says Kaoru

"Now _THIS_ is what I've been talking about!" Renge striking a defiant pose from a top her dais. "Character developed by tragic or dark pasts. Each suffered unfortunate events, but they over came these dark times and became better stronger individuals! Wonderful! Incredible! MOE! NEVER UNDERSETEMATE THE POWER OF MOE!"

"They do say suffering builds character." Says Haruhi nonchalantly

Hearing this from Haurhi causes Tamaki's soul to attempt escape for about the fiftieth time that day.

"Yes Haurhi-kun." Swoons Renge "You truly _do_ understand what I've been saying all this time."

"Um, no not really." Says Haurhi

But Renge was lost in the depths of her fantasy world, spinning chanting Moe over and over again.

"And she's gone…" sighs Haruhi.

Tamaki had since gone back to his corner of dejection.

"He does that a lot doesn't he?" observed Nami

"Tama-chan is really sensitive." Said Hunny before stuffing another slice of cake in his mouth. "Isn't he Takeshi?"

"Ah."

"Well is he ok? Shouldn't someone talk to him or something?" wondered Nami

"Nah…" say the Hosts

"He'll be fine." Says Kyoya "once he finds something else to obsess over."

"Well, if you say so." Said Nami

* * *

That's all you get for now 


	10. Chapter 10

The Host Club is now Open….

"…And that's when we found out she wasn't _really_ evil, but a Princess undercover."

"Wow, Luffy-kun. Was she _really_ a Princess?"

"Yup! Neat hu? We offered to take her back to her Kingdom and help her out." Grinned Luffy

"How noble of you."

"Haha! Expect nothing less from chivalrous guys like us." Beamed Ussop "She told us about the treacherous man plotting a palace coup against her noble father. We couldn't stand back and let that happen."

--

"…She said she had been searching for me for 10 years…or was that 10 days?… Ah well, anyway. She had heard about my culinary skill and so she challenged me to the 'Best in East Blue…mington Contest."

"How romantic to be searching for someone for 10 years. She must have been very determined."

"Yes quite determined." Smiled Sanji

--

"…And from that fight I suffered a wound that would have killed a normal man. I have a vicious scar from it that pushes me everyday to become stronger."

"Um…Zoro –san?" says a blushing girl "C-can we see?"

"Hm? You wanna see my scar?" asks Zoro

The girls all nod

"Well…ok. I don't see why not…" Zoro stood up and started to remove his shirt

A thus a great wave of fangirlish squeals of delight echoed throughout the room.

It was day two of the pirates Hosting Challenge and the misplaced misfits were doing quite well for themselves. Their client turn out had nearly doubled filling a good 25 percent of their quota.

It surprised had everyone how well they were doing. At first the pirates were quite perplexed about how to go about this "hosting" thing. Sanji was the only member of the crew that flirted with women on a regular basis. Ussop didn't really flirt with girls so much. Sure he would tell stories to impress people, but he did that with everyone in spite of gender. Luffy was oblivious to the entire notion of attracting the opposite sex. Zoro was aware of the opposite sex but was almost completely indifferent to them.

But it was Nami who came up with how they could get by… "I've been watching these guys work and there's no way you guys could pull off that pretty boy smarmy act of theirs. However, I've also been watching this Renge chick and her followers." Nami said "And I think you guys have some things they want that these pretty boys don't have."

And so now with Nami's advice and direction, which simply was to be themselves and tell their heroic tales, the Mugiwara boys were doing better than they hoped. In their own world their adventures weren't all that impressive. In a world were every third person was a pirate or former pirate or knew pirates, adventure stories were a dime a dozen. But in this world the only adventures people had, were ones played out by actors. The Straw Hat's typical everyday events was enough to be able to make a long running TV show and a bunch of movies to go with them in this world.

"Everyone loves good drama." Nami said grinning in a very pleased eat-your-heart-out way standing next to a rather impressed Kyoya and an utterly unbelieving Tamaki,. "Pretty boys are all well and good, but sometimes a girl likes a good manly man every so often."

"Squeee!" Nami suddenly found herself being glomped by an extremely overzealous young girl with a big pink bow in her hair.

"Hi Renge" sighed Nami "You know, you should really stop doing that to people…"

But Renge of course was too lost in her own world to bother listening "Ah Nami-sama. Oh how I have prayed for someone to come that understands my vision. You and your guys are truly a gift sent to me from Heaven in answer to my prayers."

"Ah, heh…" Nami laughed uneasily "If you say so."

No one had told her they had actually been summoned by Nekozawa in an attempt to call forth demons from the dark abyss. Why he was trying to summon demons in the first play was a mystery. However no one had been surprised he had tried…it was a very Nekozawa thing to do. Nekozawa was now, on fear of pain and death by sunlight, trying to figure out away to send the misplaced pirates back from wench they came.

However, they couldn't go back until the guys covered the debt of the very expensive tea set Zoro had broke by attracting 1000 customers…in three weeks. They were doing well and seemed very likely they would meet the goal.

"Very impressive Nami san." Said Kyoya "Your analysis and leadership in the matter is quite good." The Shadow King smiled knowingly recognizing the skills of a fellow master of manipulation.

"Why thank you." Nami grinned back.

--

While the guys were doing their thing Nami wandered over to sit with Robin who was making use of the _actual_ hosts.

"My, so your families tradition go back many generations." Smiled Robin

"Yup!" beamed Hunny sempai "Takeshi's Kendo dojo goes back to samurai times. There's not that many like that today."

"Ah." Agreed Mori.

"How nice to have been able to preserve such history for so long." Beamed Robin "I'd like to now more about this 'Samurai Period' but first tell me more about this Royal Court Period you mentioned before..."

As Mori and Hunny drew Robin into the history of the Heian Period, Nami took a seat by Haruhi.

"The guys seem to be doing well." Commented Haruhi

"Ya I guess." Sighed Nami "Sorry to be taking all your customers. This probably isn't helping you reach your own quota. Plus it's cutting into other host's customers too."

"That's ok." Haruhi smiled "We don't really mind. Hunny sempai and Mori sempai are pretty laid back and just go with the flow. And Kyoya sempai couldn't be happier about the big customer turn out. Though, it's not really cutting into the Twins customers, they have a pretty dedicated following.

"Yes, yes." Nod the twins "Boy love has a very large fan base" Identical grins spread across the plotting pair.

"You know…" Says Kaoru "You could use that to attract more customers."

"What? How?" asked Nami "None of the guys are gay."

"They don't _have_ to be." Says Kaoru

"It only needs to be _implied_." Says Hikaru

"Riiight." Says Nami "And just who could you imply?"

"Hmmm…" Thinks Hikaru. "I'd say the Blond chief and the Swordsman."

"WHAT!" exclaimed Nami. "They hate each other. You could cut the tension between them with a knife."

The twins only grin "There's more than one kind of tension you know."

Nami smiled slyly in a deviously playful way knowing what other type of tension they were talking about. "I don't know about Zoro, but Sanji sure doesn't have to worry about _that_ kind of tension. _Believe_ me."

"Haha" laughed the twins "Touché, Touché. But still, you could easily use their rivalry to imply attraction."

"I fail to see your reasoning." Said Nami

"One could imply that their rivalry towards each other hides their underlining feelings for each other. They don't understand the feelings so they're afraid, and the fear lashes out in anger… " Says Kaoru

Hikaru shrugs "A typical cliché in romance stories, not just boy love comics ya know."

"True." Shrugs Nami "Though it's kinda hard to pin Sanji as a lover of men when he sooo _obviously_ is a lover of women."

The twins shrug. "When fangirls have the fantasy planted in their heads, they tend to ignore the facts that would make the fantasy not work."

Kaoru gestures towards Renge "You talk as if flaming fangirls care about practicality and common logic." (1)

"Hmmm, you gotta point." Says Nami "But I think I'll pass on your idea."

"Aw." Chime the twins " Why not. It's sure to win you tons more customers to meet your quota…plus it'll be amusing to watch."

Robin smiled knowingly "Miss Navigator is rather…possessive of her cook."

Nami willed herself not to blush by glaring at the smiling older woman. "Whatever Robin. Sanji flirts with anything that looks good in a skirt. I don't care."

"Really?" Robin smiled presently. But Nami caught the hidden knowing look.

Nami was too skilled at hiding her true feelings to give in to Robins attempt to throw her. She had experience from growing up having to work under the fiends that shot her mother. She learned to hide her pain and sorrow behind a mask. And to this day she still hid feelings behind it. It was flawless. The trouble was, other mask wears could spot other mask wears. Nami knew Robin could read her true feelings. But just because Robin could see didn't mean Nami would roll over and reveal anything. Robin couldn't throw stones. There was still much she her self was hiding from the crew. Nami gave Robin a casual look that said just that.

"Ya, really." She said

"Wow that's very big of you." Smiled Haruhi. "Most girlfriends would be jealous."

Nami laughed "Well I'm not most girlfriends. Besides, what do I have to be jealous of?"

Nami looked over at the group of girls surrounding Sanji. "A bunch of rich spoiled debutants? Ha! Don't make me laugh." Nami turned back and started to sip tea.

That's right Nami thought to herself. I have nothing to worry about. They're just rich spoiled debutants…that are beautiful and nice and sweet and shower him with attention and admiration…crap.

* * *

(1) I evoke "Rice Rights" as stated by the great and talented Margret Cho. "Rice Rights" say that you can make fun of any group of people as long as you are a part of that group. XD I'm a flaming fangirl, so I can poke fun at flaming fangirls…so in essences, I'm really just making fun of myself X3…I'm not a fan of Zoro x Sanji tho. And I really don't understand the logic behind just why it's such a popular pairing… I mean Sanji _is_ sooo _obviously _portrayed as hetro… 

Sanji Nami 4ever X3 !


	11. Closure

So some people have been bugging me about when I'm going to update this...well

This isn't exactly an update…it's more sort of closure.

I lost interest in this like 2 years ago. But here's the chapter I was working on at the time, followed up by a basic idea of how I had the story planed and then the end Omake chapter I wrote way before…

Sorry. I know it's not what you'd want but at least it's something.

* * *

The Host Club is now open…

It was starting into the second week of the Mugiwara Boy's Hosting Challenge and they were well on their way to filling their quota. The boys had a strange knack for entertaining the girls with their stories…however far fetched they sounded, the junior debutants hung on every word with much glee and enjoyment.

While the Pirates attended the Host Clubs regular customers, the real members enjoyed a nice break… well, all the members except, Tamaki who had confined himself to his corner of dejection for the past week and a half. Haruhi still wasn't speaking to him and the others left him alone to sulk.

"Is he really ok?" Asked Nami "He's been like that for over a week and a gloom cloud is starting to form. If he gets any more depressed it might start raining on him."

"He's fine, don't worry." Chimed the twins

Nami looked over at Tamaki in his corner with a miasma of gloom and depression swirling around him. He sure didn't look fine. Nami looked over at the crowed of giggling girls surrounding Sanji and the other guys. Sanji was surly in his element, getting to flirt with as many girls as he wanted. He looked happy getting so much attention.

"Well he seems ok…" Nami looked back and fourth between the two blonds and was torn about what to do, her mind buzzing and tormenting her. "On the one hand he's…but then on the other hand he'd probably…but I can't just let it go…I really should confront him… but then if I do that…but I don't want to make that same mistake again…but it may just make things worse… however, it's better to be sure…right? But then he's bound to…gah! What to do…" Nami sighed "Ah I'll sleep on it…"

* * *

That's as far as I got and couldn't figure out how to continue. Then I got wrapped up in My FF12 fic and work and other things and have long since lost interest in both Host Club and One Piece… Sorry it happens ^^;

But here, I might as well tell you the basic idea of what I had in mind.

Basically, Nami has this big guilt over having a feeling something was wrong with Sanji deep down and then ignoring it (See: To Have Loved and Lost and Life's Little Quarks)

So not wanting to make the same mistake again, she goes over to comfort Tamaki. She finds him to be similar to Sanji, trying to be happy go lucky tiring to please everyone but deep down he's really sad and lonely and wants to be loved…dwwwa. Tamaki needs a hug. T^T He tells his woes to Nami and how he's feeling all confused about his feelings towards "his daughter"

I can't remember how else I wanted things to go…maybe Sanji and Haruhi get close too or something… or maybe Nami, seeing Sanji get attention from the girls makes her feel guilty about how she's not so nice to Sanji. She confides in Haruhi and tells her all about the dorky things Sanji has done for her as a way to show his affection and maybe she should cut the poor guy a break and return his feelings, since, when she's honest with herself, she really does love Sanji

Either way, Haruhi sees parallels between the dorky things Sanji does for affection and the dorky things Tamaki does and it clicks that _maybe _Tamaki LIKES her...(Ya THINK? Haruhi, you're smart and everything but you can be so dence).

Sanji and Tamki's rivalry goes on but finally Sanji is all like "Look dumb ass, Haruhi's a nice girl and everything, but I have my own Nami Swan to woo and it's not my style to take another guys girl."  
And Tamaki is like What? And Sanji's like "You really are a dumb ass aren't you? You Like the girl don't ya...as in you -LIKE- Like the girl.  
again Tamaki with the "hu?" Sanji with the "do I have to spell it out for you? You're in LOVE with the girl! You wanna marry her and have a million babies with her in love with her"  
And Tamaki's soul tries to escape him for the thousandth time.

By this time the Mugiwara Pirates have met their quota and Nekozawa has figured out how to send them all out of Ouran-verse...And Tamaki and Haruhi are left to sort through the new found feelings they have.

So ya.

Enjoy the Omake Chapter, it's little consolation, but it is something and it gives you closure.


	12. Omake

**Gomu Goum no…Hosting Omake**

"If I ever see that Neko-whats it guy ever again, I'm gonna snap his neck in two." Says a very annoyed Nami

"This so is NOT the Grand Line." Says and equally annoyed Zoro "It's not even an ocean."

"Where the hell are we _now_?" moans Ussop "How do we keep getting into situations like this?"

"I'm hungry."

The Swordsman, Sniper and Chef stare daggers at their gluttonous captain.

"That's one BIIIG gate." Says the tiny reindeer who's looking up at a huge gate that seemed to be the entrance to a village deep within a forest.

"Oi. Who are you and what business do you have here?" someone asks

The _still_ lost and wandering band of pirates turn and are once again shocked to face yet another odd and extraordinarily outlandish looking group of individuals.

"Are you from some other hidden village?" asks a pink haired girl in a red dress

"Of course not..." Says the person who spoke before, who turns out to be a man with strange spiky gray hair that had one eye and had half of his face covered. "They're not wearing marked forehead protectors."

"Anyone can _plainly_ see they're not ninja of any kind." Says an emo looking boy with wild black hair wearing a blue shirt.

"Maybe they're lost or something." asks a blond spiky haired kid in a bright orange outfit.

Nami gives a deep sigh "Lost is a _huge_ understatement…"

"I see." Says the masked man.

"So who are you guys anyway?" Asks the blond kid

The rubber man steps forward and gives a wide grin "I'm Monkey D. Luffy! The man who'll become the King of Pirates."

The blond hair kids grins wide too. "Oh ya? Well I'm Uzumaki Naruto. The Man who will become Hokkage."

* * *

XD yes that's right. The Mugiwara Band have stumbled upon The Hidden Leaf Village of Konoha.

Geebuz, you can tell how old this fic is…Sauske is still in Konoha with Naurto and company…

No, I will not be writing about the wacky Pirate/Ninja shenanigans that would ensue. If someone else wants to, be my guest. My energy and imagination for crossovers is spent.

Tho I can interject that Luffy and Naruto would best buddies, Sanji would get along very well with Kakashi and read smut together, Nami would enjoy teaching Sakura the fine art of manipulating men, Zoro and Sasuke would either be completely neutral towards each other or have some kind of duel, Ussop would be busy trying to get his hands on every cool ninja gadget he could, Robin would be interested in finding out about the history of the village the Hokkages, and about the other ninja villages and Chopper would be interested in talking with…gah, name totally slipped my mind… Hokkage chick, about ninja medicine…starts with Tsu…something XP


End file.
